英语牛人们,请给点评点评英语作文呀,The pie graph describes the financial consumption on the snack food in brazil whilst the line graph demonstrates the variation used in different kinds of foods.As shown in the data ,the wealthy like t

英语牛人们,请给点评点评英语作文呀,The pie graph describes the financial consumption on the snack food in brazil whilst the line graph demonstrates the variation used in different kinds of foods.As shown in the data ,the wealthy like t
英语牛人们,请给点评点评英语作文呀,
The pie graph describes the financial consumption on the snack food in brazil whilst the line graph demonstrates the variation used in different kinds of foods.
As shown in the data ,the wealthy like the hamburgers most when the consumption of hamburgers reach at 40(pence per person per week) .Whereas,the expense of fish and chips resembling to pizza only account for approximately 17 pence,19 pence respectively midst the rich.The tendency of the middle class sew similar to the wealthy,i.e,hamburgers ,fish and chips,pizza occupy about 32 pence,25 pence,12 pence respectively.Duo to the lack of the disposable money,these three kinds of snacks are carefully consumed at a low amount among the poor.
Accordingly to the line graph,the expense of hamburgers being used increase in a staggering rate from 1970 to 1990.Besides,fish and chips experience a decline during the same period.Then the pizza remain stable under 100 grammes upon 1970 to around 1982.From this point onwards,pizza consumption rise and amount to approximately 150 grammes in 1990.
It is manifest from the two graph that the enormous consumption of hamburgers ascribe to the favor of all classes of people.And the less interests of the consumers contribute to the low quantity of other two snacks.
答复xixiself：Maybe i can substit Substitute with carefully allocate their money.According is a blunder idiom For the tense of the passage,it is recommended as what you said in the auxiliary book that is mainly focus on writting written by pat.

英语牛人们,请给点评点评英语作文呀,The pie graph describes the financial consumption on the snack food in brazil whilst the line graph demonstrates the variation used in different kinds of foods.As shown in the data ,the wealthy like t
嗯,作文就没时间点评了,见谅!
英语作文讲究铢积寸累,注重平时的积累和词汇的运用.
写作的时候会灵活遣词造句、布局文章思路,逻辑串联.
这些需要假以时日的操练,当然方法就在不断的练习和
改进中不断完善.我们一直这么做、这么鼓励和监督学生
坚持练习和不断反馈、完善.相信好的作文都是精心的策划
和日久的历练而成.急功近利不是长远之计!

The paragraph describes the financial consumption on the snack food in Brazil whilst the line graph demonstrates the variation used in different kinds of foods.
As shown in the data ,the wealthy l...

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The paragraph describes the financial consumption on the snack food in Brazil whilst the line graph demonstrates the variation used in different kinds of foods.
As shown in the data ,the wealthy like the hamburgers most and the consumption of hamburgers reachs to 40 percent per person per week . Whereas, the expense of fish and chips resembling to pizza only accounts for approximately 17 percent, 19 percent respectively midst the rich.The tendency of the middle class is similar to the wealthy, i.e, hamburgers ,fish and chips, pizza occupy about 32 percent, 25 percent, 12percent respectively.Due to the lack of money, these three kinds of snacks seldom consumed among the poor.
According to the line graph,the expense of hamburgers increased obviously from 1970 to 1990. Besides, fish and chips experience a decline during the same period. Then the pizza remains stable under 100 grammes upon 1970 to around 1982.From this point onwards, pizza consumption rises and amounts to approximately 150 grammes in 1990.
It is manifest from the two graph that the enormous consumption of hamburgers ascribe to the favor of all classes of people.And the less interests of the consumers contribute to the low quantity of other two snacks. 整体来说不错，我改了几个语法错误，主要是第三人称单数形式。还有几个单词如，段落是paragraph, 百分数是percent。我有疑问，the line graph 是什么意思，没看懂。 希望给你帮助

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Duo to the lack of the disposable money 是Due ？
carefully consumed 这个用法很奇怪 用 rarely 是不是好一些
Accordingly to the line graph 应该是 According to吧
Besides, fish and chips experience a dec...

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Duo to the lack of the disposable money 是Due ？
carefully consumed 这个用法很奇怪 用 rarely 是不是好一些
Accordingly to the line graph 应该是 According to吧
Besides, fish and chips experience a decline during the same period. experienced 类似情况不少 是不是你老师说的统一用一般现在时？ 如果是，就当我没说
雅思A类小作文？ 这个6分肯定的 拼写方面注意些 7分有戏

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